My mother was just sentenced to 3-9 years for second degree grand larceny. I am a mom of two teenagers. Life seems so unfair. The pain and worry are almost to much to bare. I am wondering if anyone knows if there is any other way to get money on a commisary account other then by mail or dropping it off? Are there any support groups for families of the prisoners? What services are available to inmates? Is there a website for Bedford Hills Correctional Facility?

I decided to answer those questions this week in my monthly video column:

Click on the player above or download this video here. (iPhone version)
If you are a child of someone who is incarcerated and you have a question for me, you have three options:

1. Post a question in the comments section below,
2. Send an email to questions@livesinfocus.org,
3. Call (646) 867-1891 to leave a message.

I also welcome questions from others who might simply be interested in knowing more about how the life of children is affected when a parent is incarcerated.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: Have you turned to support groups and how did that help you through this time in your life?

[Use the comments feature below or call (646) 867-1891 to leave an audio message.]

“Who we rep?!”
“Diligence…”

“Who we rep?!”
“Disappointment…”

“Who we rep?!”
“Determination…”

“Who we rep?!”
“Damnation…”

we waste away our youth in jail cells
and tattoo our dreams on ourselves
for days when we’re not feeling well
so we can look down at our skin
to remember the inspiration within.
sometimes pictures are all we have
because our commissary consists mainly of
could have, should have, and would have
which keeps our stomachs empty.

why oh why
is time working against me?
the judge gave me 15 to life and sometimes
i fear i’ll be a prisoner until
i can retire at 65.
the other day a lifer laughed at me
and said i’ll never get out
and i shook my head and smiled.
he doesn’t know that when the lights go out,
i stay up and plot my escape.
one day they’ll wake up
and i will be traveling far, far away.
i’ll shed these prison clothes
and today will be yesterday.

Family Life Behind Bars previously interviewed Dr. Harland Kessaris, a psychologist who specializes in re-entry of incarcerated individuals back into family and society, who provided some insight on how to cope with the absence of a loved one during the holiday season.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: What tips do you have to deal with separation during the holiday seasons?

[Use the comments feature below or call (646) 867-1891 to leave an audio message.]

Click on the player above or download this video here. (iPhone cellular version)

He moves from home to jail and home again
Connected to God’s pendulum.
He blames the world
And especially the man.
He swings at random.

He enters lives.
Several babies don’t know him.
He borrows starts.
His mother disowns him.
And he lies.

No commitment that takes time
Ever sticks.
He doesn’t have the-
Time.
It’s done to him.

He believes in God
And in the man
He needs to believe in himself.

Leslie, age 57

I am a lost dog with no destiny. I find this way of life dull or unclear. I am unable to see any movements or a sign of any person. I am stuck and forced to believe that this way is the only way because I am not told otherwise.

I like to believe that I could escape and all the pain and sorrow would be gone. But as soon as the thoughts enter, they exit. For some reason, all my colors seemed to be gray, and black in shades of white.

I’m alone in this cold world and I’m feeling anemic.

Which way is right? This bewildered look on my face may seem as if I fail to realize the questions. That’s because I don’t.

My only occupation is to get lost and stay far from the norm. Time after time I tell myself this is only temporary. But as time passes me by, this is becoming reality. I psyche myself to believe that the more I think and apply, the better it gets.

I feel my only mission is to reiterate my down time. I try to lift myself up, but I am a corpulent elephant. My thoughts revert back to a time when the sun and the sky was visible. But those thoughts abet me to relive the anguish I’ve experienced.

As I sit and think, I only seem to be thinking. That’s the only thing I have time for nowadays.

Aaron, age 16

Prince, age 15

To honor that artwork, Family Life behind Bars invited people to enter what they have produced that reflects those emotions.

Over the next few days, this site will post poems, artworks and photographs that people submitted by the Dec. 1, 2008 deadline. After all the submissions have been posted, you’ll have an opportunity to vote for your favorite pieces.

The winners will receive checks for the following amounts: The first prizewinner will receive $200; the second prizewinner will receive $100; and the third prizewinner will receive $50.

Hope you enjoy the work that people have agreed to share with you.

President George W. Bush participates in a roundtable on mentoring children of prisoners initiative. (Photo credit: White House Photograph)

“These youngsters got ambitions and goals. They want to go to college. They want to make a difference,” the president said after meeting privately with a small group of volunteers and children at Big Brothers and Big Sisters’ Youth Focus Program in Greenboro, N.C. “Oh, it takes some time, it takes a little bit of extra love, but by helping a child, you can really help the country.”

President Bush appears in recent weeks to be on a farewell tour, trying to salvage his tattered ratings by reminding people of some of the charitable initiatives he launched as president. On Monday, he spoke about his efforts to battle the AIDS epidemic—an effort that even his most bitter rivals praise. And today, he tried to remind Americans that he initiated and funded an effort in 2003 to help children of people in prison.

About 2 million children and youth in the United States have at least one parent in a Federal or State correctional facility, according to Bureau of Justice Statistics.

These kids don’t just have to deal with separation from their parent, but must struggle with the economic, social, and emotional burdens associated with their parent’s incarceration.

At the same time, research shows that mentoring programs aimed at this group can make a big difference, reducing their first-time drug and alcohol use, improving their academic performance, and reducing the likelihood that they will be involved in violence. Mentoring programs can also help them develop a trusting relationship with a supportive adult and provide them with a stable environment.